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Wake Up! Smell the Coffee!

Posted by mrs paddy on Saturday, May 24, 2008 12:57:07 PM
This election cycle keeps getting more and more bizarre!  Just when I think it couldn't get worse, along comes Obama saying that we need to understand that keeping our thermostats at 72 degrees and sustaining our life-style is not a reasonable expectation, along comes McCain saying similarly stupid things in the name of 'saving the planet.'  I am sick of it!  We need to drill in ANWR, the coasts, and anywhere else we have oil supplies so we can free ourselves from the Middle East, OPEC and stop funding terrorists.   Congress needs to be re-hauled (or keel-hauled, might be a better option).  NO MORE INCUMBANTS
 
So, from the Everly Brothers' hit "Wake up, Little Susie"
 
Wake up, smell the coffee, wake up!
Wake up, smell the coffee, wake up!
The candidates we seek
Can't be the best, they are weak!
The campaign's over, it's down the drain
And we're in trouble deep
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Wake up, smell the coffee!
 
Well....
Why are we gonna vote for Obama?
What is the appeal of McCain?
What are we gonna do; will we all just Bend O'er again?
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Wake up, smell the coffee!
 
Well I see Obama has made a gaffe again
Well Democrats looks like you goofed again
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Just send him on home!
 
Wake up, smell the coffee, wake up!
Wake up, smell the coffee, wake up!
John McCain ain't so hot
But looks like he's the best that we've got
No border fence, our goose is cooked
Our sovereign nation is shot
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Wake up, smell the coffee!
 
Well....
Why are we gonna vote for Obama?
What is the appeal of McCain?
What are we gonna do; will we all just Bend O'er again?
Wake up, smell the coffee!
Wake up, smell the coffee!
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Obama McCain Ding Dong

Posted by mrs paddy on Friday, May 23, 2008 8:47:18 PM
Catchy tunes are sometimes hard to make into parodies.  This was an exception. (Although I do think it would be hard to sing, I can hear it in my head just fine!)
 
From Witch Doctor
Original by Ross Badasarian
 
I saw a candidate
I don't think he's so great!
I saw a candidate
I think he is a snake!
I Saw a Candidate
He told me how to vote
He told me:
Oooo Eeee Oooo Ah Ah Ding Dong I'm Obama Bring Bong (X4)
 
I told the Democrats
I didn't like his roots
I told the Democrats
With Ayers he's in Cahoots
And then the Democrats they said 'twas time to choose
They told me:
 
OOO EEE OO AH AH Ting Tang Vote Obama bing bang X4
 
(Bridge)
He's been keeping 'Hope" the key just like a politician
And I'll admit that isn't very smart
So when I looked the GOP had altered their position
And that's not the way for them to win my heart!
 
My friends, the GOP
They think that he's the guy
My friends the GOP
They spit right in my eye
So, Friends, I think it's true
I will not vote for you
And I say:
 
OOO EEE OO AH AH Ding Dang I’m not voting McCain X4
 
(Repeat last verse & refrain)

 

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From the Monkees' "I'm a Believer"

Posted by mrs paddy on Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:51:59 AM
So, now calling someone an appeaser is an epithet?  Cool.  Here's a re-mix of Neil Diamond's I'm a Believer.
 
I thought running for the Prez was fairy tales
Meant for only whites and not for me
Bush was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Then I hit the stage and voters screamed
 
Then you saw my face, now I'm an appeaser
Not a trace of thought in my mind
I tell you Gov, I'm an appeaser
Not an old Geezer, like McCain.
 
I think that the USA should give some Bling
Seems the more you give the less you got
What's the use in tryin'?
I'll beat John McCain
Global Warming sanctions cause you pain?
 
But just see my race! I'm an appeaser!
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
It's all love, I'm an appeaser
Not a bull-squeezer, where's my spine?
 
 
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Obama Talking to the Terrorists

Posted by mrs paddy on Thursday, May 22, 2008 10:44:30 AM
From Dr. Doolittle's song by Leslie Bricusse, "If I Could Talk to the Animals"  Thanks Ann Coulter for the inspiration.  Obama, and Liberals seem to think we can negotiate with anyone....
 
If we could talk to our enemies
Just imagine it
Chatting with Hamas or old AQ
Imagine Syria with dinner
They'd come out the winner.
What a neat achievement that would be.
 
If BO talks to the terrorists
Learns their languages
Maybe even he could someday see
That Afghans do not speak like Arabs
Iran needs a rehab
Why he'd make us guinea pigs you see?
 
And old Al Gore says polar bears are dying
So we'll reverse our thermostats and freeze
If people asked us, "Is this the way to save our place?'
We'd say, "It's a disgrace! Heat! Please!"
 
If we just accept our liberal friends'
'Man from Animals'
Think of all the things we could discuss!
If we could Talk like a liberal
Wink like a liberal
Think and Blink, be Finks like a liberal
And they could talk until the Missing Link is us!

 

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Obama: Be A Clown

Posted by mrs paddy on Thursday, May 22, 2008 2:47:57 AM
From my favorite movie "Singin' in the Rain"  A parody to Obama, who has been called a clown and Bozo, among other things....Enjoy.
 
Be A Clown (Cole Porter)
 
We'll recall his campaigning
Fresh from Illinois
'Bama, Prez in Training
Must be the best boy
He said, when I grow up
I want to be Prez
I want my future sewn up
But everyone says:
 
I'm a clown, I'm a clown
Bozo's come to our town
I'm a fool, king of gaffs
Who knows who'll have the last laugh?
Wear a smile, with Michelle
They'll faint when the rhetoric swells
If I dismiss my blunders, folk'll just shake their head
If I dismiss those pundits, they'll just play Wright instead
If it would get me delegates I'd stand on my head
I'm a clown, I'm a clown, I'm a clown.
 
I'm a clown, I'm a clown
Bozo's come to your town.
They don't see a buffoon
That's why the voters all swoon.
Wear a pin, touch your heart
Don't you know that Barry is smart?
For Hamas and Al Qaeda, I have an embrace
They say that if I talk to them it's just a disgrace
But I am sure I'll never ever fall on my face
I'm no clown, I'm no clown, I'm no clown!
 
I'm no clown, I'm no clown
All you guys settle down
Show 'em smiles, tell 'em naught
Don't they know I'm the answer they sought?
I'm a crack jackanapes
Darwin says: descended from apes
Why be a great Orator, when I show up there's cheers?
I think I can maintain this act for about four years
But don't you think they'd giggle if I wiggled my ears!
I've renown, I've renown, I've renown!
 
I've renown, I've renown,
All the world sees my crown
If I just make 'em vote
I'll deflect those lobs from swift boats
Speak of Ayers, confess dope
Throw in the audacity: Hope
A college education from old Harvard, my friend
A college where it surely was a boost to attend
What a hoot to be the President in the end
I've renown, I've renown, I've renown!
 
Simmer down! Simmer down!
Soon I'll own Tinseltown
I'm as bright as the sun
Soon I'll climb aboard Air Force One
Cling to God, hold your guns
Wait until you see my end run
If you are midwest farmers, you fight weather and luck
But fixing global warming will make everything suck
So Jack just pay the taxes, here I won't stop the buck
I'm no clown, I'm no clown, I'm no clown!
 

 

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From Dumbo, Happy-Hearted Roustabouts

Posted by mrs paddy on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 11:07:09 AM
Well, here is a little ditty to all politicians of every political stripe based on the Roustabout song from Dumbo.
 
Song of the Roustabouts (Dumbo) original music and lyrics by Oliver Wallace and Ned Washington.
 
Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike!
We work all day, we work all night
We are the members of the Right
We're happy we're Conservatives!
 
Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike!
So other folks can pay our share
Expand the use of Medicare
We're happy we're the Democrats!
 
Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike! Ugh! Hike!
We don't know how to spend our pay
We let the Congress tax our cares away
(We don't know how to spend our pay, we let the Congress tax away)
We hear our politicians say
We've happy-hearts "Election Day's today!"
(We hear our politicians say "Election Day is here today")
 
Taxes growin'
Overflowin'
Tax and Spend Ain't what we need (no, sir!)
Borders Strengthened
ICE defendin'
Our security!
There ain't no let up
Must get set up
Can't we right this ship of state?
Leftwards listing
Backwards drifting
Is it all too late?
Hep! Heave! Hep! Heave! Hep! Heave!
Hep! Heave! Hep! Heave! Hep! Heave!
Hep! Heave! Hep!
 
Sling that sludge! You're all wrong!
Work your campaigns all night long!
All you black-hearted candidates!
Pullin', poundin', lyin', groundin'
Your opponents into dust.
Keep on stumping!
Voters humping!
Get that vote, you think you must!
Stumpin'! Humpin'! Stumpin'! Humpin'!
Oh......

 

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From Dumbo to Look Out for Mr. Tax

Posted by mrs paddy on Monday, May 19, 2008 1:08:45 PM
Somebody (Georgetwin?) referred to Obama as Dumbo Ears today.  Made me laugh, and also got me to look at some of the songs from that movie.  Here' a parody based on "Look out for Mr. Stork" from Dumbo.  Original Music by Oliver Wallace; Lyrics by Ned Washington
 
Look out for Mr. Tax
That perservering chap
He'll come along and steal
That bundle from your lap
You may be poor or rich
It doesn't matter which
Millionaires, they lose theirs
Like the Butcher and the Baker
So look out for Mr. Tax
And let me tell you, friend
Don't try to get away
He'll find you in the end
The IRS will nail you and they will not even ask
So you'd better look out for Mr. Tax.
 
Look out for Mr. Tax
He's got you on his list
And when he comes around
It's useless to resist
Remember Wesley Snipes's in jail and don't you know it's true
The Tax Man has his eye on you!

 

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Big John (McCain)

Posted by mrs paddy on Monday, May 19, 2008 11:29:58 AM
Well, Curtal Friar, here's your request.  Jimmy Dean's 'Big John' (about McCain...sort of).
 
(Big John, Big John)
Ev'ry morinin' 'bout this time you will see him arrive
He's not very tall, so old he's barely alive
Kinda proud to be a maverick, and-of his stay in Hanoi
And everybody knew we'd never feel no joy with Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)
 
Nobody seemed to know how he won in the field
All the others dropped out and our blood just congealed
He didn't look strong, kinda puny in fact
His polls were down, how'd he get in the act, Big John?
 
Lately he's been raggin' on that wreck, New Orleans
Where he says that our government was lazy and mean
When that crashin' blow from a hurricane
Made him realize we had a need for McCain - Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)
 
Then came that day all the others stopped tryin'
Even Huckabee fell and men started cryin'
We all were prayin' and our hearts beat fast
And everybody knew Conserv's would breathe their last with John
 
Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked the shadow of a man that we all loved well
He'd grabbed our saggin' nation that we called home
And with humor and strength he just stood there alone - Big Ron
(Big Ron, Big Ron) Big Bad Ron (Big Ron)
 
And with all of his strength and by testing our will
He reminded us all we are a city on a hill
A shining beacon to a world in despair
And now that he's gone a memory's all we share of Big Ron
 
With tax and spending they've squandered our vote
Ripped our Constitution with some new laws of note
Campaign funds and then that gang of fourteen
No one was surprised when he turned to Green, Big John
(Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)
 
Now he's never believed in that worthless fence
Only in Iraq does he value defense
But these few words are written in the sand
A Vote for John McCain will be the end of our land, Big John
(Big John, Big John) Don't Dig John (Big John)
 
[repeat and fade]

 

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Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!

Posted by mrs paddy on Sunday, May 18, 2008 11:17:29 PM
Our second amendment is precious.  Without it we have put all of our faith in our politicians to guide, defend and provide for our every need.  I don't know about you, but the idea of that scares me to death.  Hope you have had the chance to visit Gray Ghost's blog.  Interesting video from England.  If you are not outraged by the content, you really are not paying attention.  So, here is to our sacred 2nd Amendment.  From the Song You Can't Get a Man with a Gun, (Annie Get Your Gun)
 
(Prelude)
Oh Our Founders were frightened by politicians, they say
That's why this is the country we bless
They were sure that we needed armed and able citizens
To keep a good Bead on Congress!
 
(Refrain)
They're quick on the trigger with projects ever bigger
And we all soon will be undone
And their score with the raters
Is like "Down" on elevators
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
When they go to Congress
They suddenly forget us
Yes, they need all the hype they've spun
'Cause they don't pass our muster
When they rule it's a 'cluster'
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
We need guns!  We need Guns!
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
If we go to battle
Soon after they all prattle
That they ne'er gave a vote, they Run!
But if we are commissioned
We carry out our mission
Oh we must hold the line,
Though they whine all the time!
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
They're fools, knaves and spineless
In fact they all are mindless
Soon as they get to Washington
'Cause they just want th'election
To uphold their selection
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns.
 
Those folks with the purse-strings
Must think that they are our kings
'Cause they spend til the day is done.
But you'd think they'd not trifle
With those who carry rifles
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
We need guns!  We need Guns!
Thank the Lord that we still have our Guns!
 
Our nation is Mighty
Although our pols are flighty
Check and Balance has kept us One.
But we will not surrender
With our rifles we'll defend her
For our Land of the Free
We'll defend You and Me
Thank the Lord that we still have our guns!
 
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Oh Obama!

Posted by mrs paddy on Sunday, May 18, 2008 6:39:45 PM
Based on Stephen Foster's old traditional song Oh Susanna!
 
I come from South Chicago,
With some Mojo don't ya see?
I'm goin' to win the White House
'cause 'most everyone loves me.
Campaigned all night, they say I'm Left
But magic's in my eyes
My run's so hot you're scared to death
Obama's not your guy.
 
(Chorus)
I'm Obama, Y'all must vote for me;
I come from South Chicago
With my Mojo don't ya see?
 
I had a dream the other night
When everything was still;
I thought I saw Old Reverend Wright
A swearing next to Hill'
A racist rant was in his mouth
A tear came to her eye
Said I, You'd better shut your mouth
Obama's not your guy.
 
(Chorus)
I'm Obama, y'all must vote for me
I come from South Chicago
With my Mojo don't ya see?
 
He soon will be in the White house
And then you'll look all 'round
That's when you'll link Obama
With Weather Underground!
But, if you don't elect him
That darkey'll surely die
His campaign dead and buried,
Obama's not your guy!
 
(Chorus)
B. Obama, Oh, you don't speak for me!
Though you come from South Chicago
Magic Mojo I don't see!
 

 

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Obama makes pre-emptive strike

Posted by mrs paddy on Friday, May 16, 2008 11:32:45 PM
So funny this week.  Bush makes a general statement of what should be our policy and Obama immediately expresses offense.  Might we assume this is a pre-emptive strike in the campaign...on Obama's part, I mean.  Guilt is a funny thing, isn't it?  So, here's to Obama, who wants to sit down and talk with our enemies.  From Herman's Hermit's "Silhouettes on the Shade" here is Obama singing to you...
 

Took a listen to George Bush

Late last night

All my aids were tired and drawn

So up-tight

But the speech made from Israel

Said we shouldn’t appease Iran

Nor any other terror regime.

I was sure he spoke to me

I was sore

So I thought I would deny

What I said before

There’s no doubt that I’m the guy

Who’s DNA's on that claim

What could I do?

I can’t be called Chamberlain.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah....

Lost control and found a mic

I was sore

No one else can pin that tripe

At my door

Old George Bush can just refrain

From dragging around my name

Said to my staff

I’ll make a pre-emptive strike!

Made a case that he was wrong

Me Appease?

Don’t you say that about me

If you please!

I don't think I said that! Jeez,

Just forget that I am naive

I only said,

I’d talk to our enemies!

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah....

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Children, Why we love them

Posted by mrs paddy on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 5:39:39 PM
After being totally depressed from reading Michelle Malkin's column today about more stupid exploitation and sexualization of children, I have to post the following.  I cannot take credit for it.  It was sent to me by a friend, but I hope it makes you laugh as much as it did me.  I'm still wiping away tears as I write this.  I wish I knew who to credit for this, but I bless them for the welcome laugh.
 
Why We Love Children!
 
1) NUDITY:
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.  She was stark naked!  As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
 
2)  OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.  The note read "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
 
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.  During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.  "Mommy can't come to the phone right now, she's hitting the bottle."
 
4)  MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.  When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.  The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, " What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
 
5) POLICE #1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.  Looking up and down at my uniform she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.  "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.  Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,"  I told her.  'Well, then' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'wouldyou please tie my shoe?'
 
6) POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.  As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.  "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.  "It sure is." I replied.  Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.  Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
 
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.  She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.  One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.  As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
 
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.  When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning!"
 
 9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.  Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.  Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.  The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said; "Glory be unto the faaaather, and unto the Sonnnn, and into the hole he gooooes."
 
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.  "I can't read, I can't write, and the teacher won't let me talk."
 
11)  BIBLE
A litte boy opened the big family Bible.  He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.  Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.  He picked up the object and looked at it.  What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.  "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.  "I think it is Adam's suit!"
 
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Politicians - Home on the Range

Posted by mrs paddy on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 1:11:16 PM
Well, here's one to all the politicians (pols).  Based on Home on the Range by Brewster Higley and Daniel Kelley

How often those pols try to inflate their roles
Never true to constituent's minds
I have stood there amazed and asked as I gazed
Can this tangle we ever unwind?
 
(Chorus)
Gone, Gone are the days
Where the Dems and Republicans play
Now seldom is heard a cooperative word
And the skies are just gloomy all day.
 
Which party will lead? Anyone our voice heed?
Can't they do what we sent them to do?
Uphold our great land with a miserly hand.
But they've both failed; the red and the blue!
 
(Chorus)
When, when will they see?
That the Congress should hear you and me?
Where seldom is heard our most critical words
And the pols just say, 'Re-elect me!'
 
Oh give me a tome, where economists hone
Sound advice, every principle state
Send it to the swamp where it smells like de-comp
So they'll learn the free market is great!
 
(Chorus)
Why, Why can't they learn?
When we sent them to their Congress term
We wanted their voice to enable our choice
Not be raised in campaign at mid-term.
 
Once this land was true to the founders' breakthrough
Where our freedoms were held up as good
And now we have pols with elitism goals
Telling us what to think, what to do!
 
(Chorus)
They all are deranged!
When they tell us our goal must be changed!
Why can't they just stop all of this agitprop?
And allow us our freedom again?
 
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Obama : Bah Bah Black Sheep

Posted by mrs paddy on Monday, May 12, 2008 1:39:04 PM
I look at Obama and think he is either dangerously naive or a wolf in sheep's clothing.  He will, obviously, say whatever is expedient, even throwing Rev Wright (whom he could no more disown than his own...) once it became obvious that some American voters were turned off by the BLT rhetoric.  So, I choose to believe that Obama is a wolf in sheep's clothing.  Since he is running on the race wagon, the following song seems appropriate.   To the tune of the nursery rhyme song, Baa Baa Black Sheep
 
Bah Bah Black Sheep
Are you just naive?
No sir, no sir I don't believe.
 
Once you were hopeful, now you are lame
Now the best we hope for is 'lose with McCain'
 
Bah Bah Black Sheep
Is it just your race?
No sir, we think you're just a disgrace
 
Why should we think that you see Wright is wrong?
When for those twenty years you just went along?
 
Bah Bah Black Sheep
We can see beneath
Why should we think your smile don't have any teeth?
 
Punished with Babies, seems a bit extreme
But your voting record does justify this meme
 
Bah Bah Black Sheep
You won't get our vote
Too bad alternatives don't hold any 'hope'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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No Food for Oil

Posted by mrs paddy on Tuesday, May 06, 2008 12:51:42 PM
No food for oil is my new mantra.  It is our own version of the oil for food scandal, and we, as Americans, need to petition our Congress to reverse these stupid ideas that do nothing to solve our energy needs (not crisis, btw), and only serve to tie us more and more into Environmental madness.  I remember the 70s and the gas lines and the stagflation etc. etc.  We are doomed to repeat it, no matter who is elected unless by some miracle we can dump McCain for a true conservative.  (are there any there????)  Here's my parody based on Jimmy Crack Corn (Blue Tail Fly)
 
When I was young I used to wait
To fill my car and it 'warn't' great
'Cause Jimmy Carter got it all wrong
And now we're dancing to a similar song
 
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
That food has gone away.
 
Now with ethanol as our gas
I see we will repeat the past
Instead of a drill to increase supply
The Congress choose to spit in our eye
(Chorus)
Some day our Congress will replay
The policies they enact today
When food is scarce and oil is high
The devil take those blue-tail guys
(chorus)
Well can't they see we must be bold?
We should be pumping ANWR gold
No more the Middle East to tap
No more corn to fill in the gap!
(Chorus)
Now is the time our pols to warn
We need oil but not from corn
Nuclear energy is a boon
We're victims of that Al Gore Loon
 
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
Greenies Tap corn, and they don't care
That food has gone away.

 

 

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