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John Edwards REMIX

Here is a parody of the Pointer Sisters' Neutron Dance to John Edwards.

Pointer Sisters' Neutron Dance

I'm John Edwards, Was a candidate
Don't you think my hairstyle is first-rate?
Ambulances used to be my beat
Now the paparazzi’s puttin’ on the heat!

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

Don't you like to hear my southern drawl?
Reporters heard me in that bathroom stall
No one else can match my stealthy act
A love child’s on my head and I cannot take it back

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

(Chorus)
Even though you say
You don't believe a word I say
It's my wife you'll see
Who's the one I cheated, see?
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance

Candidates will lie and that's for sure
Don't believe me when I say I love the poor
Proof is there if you will only look
'Cause everything I say is gobbledegook

(Chorus)
Even though you say
You don't believe a word I say
It's my wife you'll see
That’s been cheated more by me
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance

Whoo ooh
Whoo ooh
I'm a loser, yeah
I'm a loser, yeah

(Chorus)
Even though you say
You don't believe a word I say
It's my kids you'll see
Who’re humiliated, see?
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance

I doubt there is a White House spot for me
No matter how I try to just believe
And I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance
I'm just learning, don't have a neutron's chance
Campaign's burning, don't have a neutron's chance
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OKLOBAMA

David Letterman: From the “Top Ten Signs Barack Obama is Overconfident”: Proposed bill to change Oklahoma to “Oklobama”
 
So here it is!  From the Musical Oklahoma (Rodgers & Hammerstein)
 
There ain’t no better time to learn to think
But you must listen to what all he says
You might miss it if you start to blink
Thinking ‘bout Obama as the brand new Prez
Brand new Prez?
That’s what he says
Gonna buy you all a little more taxation
Health care for your neighbor, ain’t it aggravatin’
Says he’ll go on Oprah, where they’re bound to swoon
Plenty of air! The new ‘oil’ boon
Plenty of words, and it’s a joke
Plenty of Change and Plenty of Hope
 
OOOOOOOk-lobama,
Where the wind he blows is seeking Change
And the waving seas, will soon recede,
As he conquers climate, sun and rain!
OOOOOOOk-lobama,
Every night his hunny-lamb will sigh
Don’t you know I’m proud, I’ll say it loud
When the White House welcomes you and I!
 
We know he belongs to the Left (yo ho)
And the Left will just leave us bereft!
And when he says
Yeeow! Uhhh Yip Aye Yo Uh  yay!
He’s only sayin’
I’m doin’ fine, I’m Obama!
Oklobama! OK!
 
Repeat All
 
Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla...
 
We know he belongs to the Left (yo ho)
And the Left will just leave us bereft!
And when he says
Yeeow! Errr Yip Aye Yo Uh  yay!
He’s only sayin’
I’m doin’ fine, I’m Obama!
Oklobama!
 
O-K-L-O-B-A-M-A
Oklobama! Yeow!
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Born ME!

I am disturbed by Obama's arrogance.  I can hear him sing the following.  From Born Free, I think the authors' names for the original song are a happy accident!
 
Born Free by D. Black & J. Barry

Born Me! Which e’er way the wind blows,
I’ll check where the poll goes
Born Me to Marxism start!
Lift Me, and Duty surrounds you,
My tax will astound as
You from your wallet I’ll part!
Name Me and racists won’t claim you,
You’ll cast all the past aside
You’ll soon embrace black pride!
Vote me, make my life worth living,
But only worth living
If you vote Me!!!!!
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Fauxtographs!

Thanks Tea Party for the inspiration.  Tea Party wrote the followingon Michelle Malkin's column today "You have a way with words. Fauxtographs.  Just the word for the fauxAmerican, fauxchristian, fauxsenator, fauxleader, fauxflagwaver, fauxpatriot, the one the only fauxbama." 
I think this is great fodder for future parodies!  THANKS to Michelle and Tea Party!  This needs to be a little up-beat from the original song.
From TRACES by Buddy Buie / James Cobb / Emory Gordy

Taking fauxtographs,
Family shots with wife and daughters
Campaign hype and flash,
Michelle talks with Barbara Walters
Faces to love, Don’t ya know?
But it won’t work out right
Faces to love
 
Hype beyond compare,
Magazines with glossy covers,
Empty suits he wears,
Hardbound books with slick dustcovers
Faces to love, don’t ya know?
But it won’t work out right
Faces to love
 
Just close your eyes
And say a prayer
That we will see beyond
Those fauxtographs that glare
Out there, oohhh
 
Traces of hope for the right
That we’ll come back and show
Those faces are faux!
Lies and Hype!
Ohh oh oh ohhhh

 

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Happy 20th Year Anniversary to RUSH!

From Pinocchio "Hi Diddle Dee Dee"  to help the 'Conservative Voice of Freedom' celebrate 20 years of Excellence in Broadcasting!  Thanks Rush.  I don't always agree with you, but you are ALWAYS entertaining, and present important perspectives for all of us who call ourselves Conservatives.  Thanks and Happy Anniversary!!!!

Original song by Leigh Harline and Ned Washington

Hi Diddle Dee Dee
Thank Rush Limbaugh for me
He is talk radio’s king today
And millions listen to him each day
Hi Diddle Dee Dum
That’s why the libs are glum
They hate that he’s a celebrity
Thank Rush Limbaugh for me!
 
Hi Diddle Dee Dee
Hail Rush and E.I.B!
 
[Spoken: A Fine Conscience he’s turned out to be!]
 
Hi Diddle Dee Dear
Broadcasts for twenty years!
A wit prodigious a wit sublime
A Patriot for this day and time
 
Hi Diddle dee dum
Conservatives are fun
He tells us things that we all should know
And sometimes throws in some ‘new’ Lingo
And all his listeners just say ‘Dittos!’
Hi Diddle dee doh
We love our El-Rushbo!
 
Hi Diddle dee daw
Talent on loan from God
He likes to puff on his big cigar
Just like his golf game: he’s up to par
He skewers Libs, you know who you are!
ElRusho he’s our star!
 
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There are No Strings on Me

Obama, Naive? Megalomaniac? or Puppet?
 
From Pinocchio
There are No Strings on Me. Original by Leigh Harline, Ned Washington
 
OBAMA:
I’ve got no strings
That make me dance
To feed me lines, Give me a Chance
If I had strings
They’d bury me
You’ll see no strings on me
 
Hi Ho I’m Barry O.
I’m a puppet don’t you see?
I want the world to know
Naught should ever worry thee
 
You’ll see no strings
To make you frown
To tip my hand, with-hold my crown
I have wings
And you will see
Those angel wings on me
 
Dutch Puppet:
I see no strings
To worry me
We love you by the Zuider Zee
Ya Ya Ya
The Germans too
We’re in the tank for you.
 
French Puppet:
I see no strings
Qui parle pour vous?
Les Français voient votre jeu
Je vois des cordes
Juste entre nous
Qui d'autre parle pour vous ?
 
Terrorist Puppet:
We in Al Qaeda know
How to make war ebb and flow
We’d like the world to know
Barry should win place and show!
(Chorus)
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Barack's Magic History Tour

It was inevitible....I've been wanting to use this song for a long time.  After Barack's recent junket (the self-proclaimed NON Campaign trip) where he instructs the world on history, wants to re-make history, indeed has been characterized as history-making...(gag!)
 
Magical Mystery Tour (Lennon/McCartney)

Barack! Barack’s magic history tour!
Barack! Barack’s magic history tour.
Barack! AND IT’S A REVELATION
Barack’s magic history tour
Barack! HE REPRESENTS ALL NATIONS
Barack’s magic history tour
 
The magical history tour is seeking to fake it today
Seeking  the voters to sway.
Barack! Barack’s magic history tour
Barack! Barack’s magic history tour.
Barack! HE’S GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED,
Barack’s magic history tour.
Barack DISILLUSION GUARANTEED,
Barack’s magic history tour.
 
Barack’s magic history tour is hoping you voters to sway
Hoping to fake it today!
 
[spoken]
When a man takes a junket for a magical history tour,
you all know what to expect.
He guarantees us the gyp of a lifetime!
And that’s just what we get!
An indelible magical history tour!
 
Barack! Barack’s magic history tour
Barack! Barack’s magic history tour.
Barack! AND IT’S A REVELATION
Barack’s magic history tour
Barack! HE REPRESENTS ALL NATIONS
Barack’s magic history tour
 
The magical history tour reveals Barry's nature today
See Megalomania pay!
Barack’s magic history tour! White Coats should take him away
White Coats should take him away, That’s what I say
 
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I Get No Kick from McCain

From Cole Porter: I Get a Kick out of You
 
I get no kick from McCain
Obama’s gall doesn’t thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true?
That I get no kick from these two?
 
Some think that Barry’s a gem!
Buy his audacious and hopeful refrain
But I don’t buy that legerdemain
‘Cause he’s even worse than McCain
 
I feel a kick every time I see them standing there before me
Right to the head though it’s clear to see,
They obviously do not speak for me.
 
Some heed the words from the news
Bias and spin seek Obama to win
But tell me why should it be true?
When he spouts his shtick from the blue?
 
Some say that John’s just too old
Why don’t we fret that Obama’s all wet?
So, Voters, please do as your told
Just kick out Obama, be bold!
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By Request: Obamalot!

By request, here is Obamalot, to the tune of Camelot.  Original by Lerner and Lowe
 
It’s True! It’s True! This Clown has made it clear
The Candidate is perfect, all must cheer!
 
Obama made a voter swoon, and Oh Dear!
Chris Matthews has a tingling on the spot!
Is there a regal aspect to the show here?
Obamalot?
 
To criticize Michelle is quite verboten
His minister’s agenda he’s forgot
He brings up race because he is a token
Obamalot!
Bombs a lot! Bombs a lot!
I know he sounds a bit bizarre
But Obamalot! Bombs a lot!
That’s true, though he’s a star.
 
So listen while he gives another rundown
He’s great, he walks on water don’t you hear?
In short there’s simply not
A candidate so hot
For MSM to fawn upon than dear
Obamalot!
 
Obamalot! Bombs a lot!
It surely gives a voter pause,
‘Cause Obamalot! Bombs a lot!
He Hems and then he Haws!
 
I know he makes my stomach on the ill-side
By prime time all his campaign ads appear
In short there’s simply not
A candidate so hot
For M.S.M. to fawn upon than dear
Obamalot!
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If He Only Had a Brain

If I Only Had ...A Brain (Wizard of Oz)
EH Harburg and music by Harold Arlen
 
His Web is like a spider
He thinks he’ll catch Al Qaeda
But watch, he’s cellophane
All the while, my head I’m scratchin'
While his plans he’s busy hatchin’
If he only had a brain!
 
He’ll unravel every progress
Just like the US Congress
We soon will be in pain.
With the thoughts that he’s thinkin’
He’s the opposite of Lincoln
If he only had a brain!
 
Oh he will tell you how
The oceans are his chore
He will think of things that always stunk before
And then he’ll stink! Just like Al Gore!
 
He seems to run on hopin’
Is that from all that dopin’?
Or is he just insane?
I could dance and be merry
If he’d just lose like John Kerry
And he’d just go down the drain!
 
When a man’s an empty suit-er
He needs a better tutor
And yet he plays the part
He’s great with written speeches
But off the cuff he reaches
If he only had the smarts!
 
Racial views are monumental
He seems so tempermental
Regarding kids and wife
He fosters his delusions
And he often breeds confusion
If he’d only get a life!
 
Picture he....a balcony
Upon a portico
Wherefore art thou, you Dumbo?
He seeks retreat
That reeks!
 
Just to register more voters
Honesty demoted
And then there is his wife
I will stay a bitter clinger
‘Cause my rifle’s a hum-dinger
And I’ll guard it with my life....A Chance
 
Yeah, it’s sad he is a sissy
His fits can be a hissy
Boy, he has arrogance!
But while terrorists are hidin’
On a rail they should be ridin’
But B.O. is just a dope!
I’m afraid there’s no denyin’
He is handy when he’s lyin’
Man, I think this guy’s a joke!
 
He’s a case for Jerry Springer
I’m a lone Bitter Clinger
Some would say a Vast Right Winger
And this joker won’t receive this voter’s vote!
 
'Cause I'm sure I have a brain
Some Smarts
A Life
Real HOPE
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It Only Takes a Moment

Well, Obama keeps saying things like "Let this be the moment that the world healed and the oceans recede" etc.  It is almost as popular as his 'yes we can' and 'hope and change' mantra.  This Moment!  Take a moment and contemplate what happens if this man is elevated to POTUS of the most powerful nation on earth.
 
So, It Only Takes a Moment from Hello Dolly
Obama:
It only takes a moment
For your eyes to glaze and then
Your heart knows in that moment
That you'll never have to think again
 
I promise, for the moment
That my arms will be so strong
I can carry all the nations
And be loved my whole life long.....
 
Voters:
He only claims this moment
In this time, and place, but then...
Our heart knows that Obama
Surely never our world comprehends
 
He tells us, it's our moment
To be bold and free and strong!
So I urge you, to act boldly
And reject him, he's all Wrong!!!!
 
 
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Days of Whine and Moses

Well, he's either the Messiah or Moses.  Here's the latest based on The Days of Wine and Roses (Thanks Lumberjack!)
 
Original: Days of Wine and Roses, H. Mancini, J. Mercer

 
The Days of Whine and Moses
Have some Fun Today
He'll soon Run Away!
From his yellow plans toward a metaphor
Change is a dinosaur
We've all been there before!
 
This Phony Knight discloses
Nothing he's achieved
Seeks A.Q. to please!
With that golden smile, that introduced us to
The Days of Whine and Moses, poor you!
 

 

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Flintstones Theme

From the Flintstones Theme.
 
Flintlocks, Bring your Flintlocks
They're important to our sovereignty!
From our Nation's Bedrock
It's a page from our great history!
 
Let's look at our Constitution, please!
Before B.O. takes our Liberties!
 
When you've got your flintlock
We can counter the Obama!
That nightmare drama!
Just keep your powder dry!
 

 

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You Know They'd Rather Deal with Me

Somebody mentioned the Post Turtle analogy again today, so I thought I would do the following parody based on the Turtle's hit song: She'd Rather Be With Me.   It seems to fit the arrogance that Obama has for himself, as he seems to believe he can save the world with his mere presence.  He will talk to our enemies.  Only he has the acumen to achieve what better men than he have tried and failed to do before.  I'm tired of his arrogance.  I am tired of listening to his sound bytes.  It is obvious when you listen to the cadence of his speech (that is when he stays on script and avoids his stumbling um, ah, em errrrs) that he has memorized talking points.  He relates his so-called beliefs in chunks instead of full thoughts.  It is obvious to me that he has memorized them in chunks....like a bad actor.
 
Anyway.  Here's the latest for your enjoyment. Based on the Turtles: She'd Rather Be With Me
 
 
Come World, Vote for Barry now
Commander of the waiting world is me!
'Cause my world, needs no guns around
Because you know they'd rather deal with me!
 
Me oh my, magic guy is what I am
Tell you why? You understand?
As you sigh, say 'Yes, He Can!"
 
A. Q. and the Taliban
Prob'ly think that I'm the perfect choice
But A. Q. and the Taliban
Know with me they'll have a better voice!
 
Me oh my, magic guy is what I am
Tell you Why? You? Understand?
As you sigh, say, "Yes, He Can!"
 
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
 
Some Libs, think Obama's sound
Love to listen to the things he says
But my word! He isn't so profound
'Cause above the neck he is brain-dead!
 
Me oh my, magic guy? Oh NO my friend!
Tell you why? Please understand!
He'll just fake it til The End!
 
He thinks, others buy his hope
And he'll handle everything just fine
But I know, he's a scary dope
And you know he hasn't got one
You know you'd surely spot one
You know he hasn't got a spine!
 
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
You know he hasn't got a spine!
(repeat & fade)
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Swingin' on a Star

From the song by Burke/Van Heusen:  'Swingin' on a Star'
 
Would you like to swing to the Left
Barry O. has plans for more theft
And his voters seem so obsessed
Or would you rather vote for John?
 
Old John's just like Barry but without funny ears
That fool seems to echo what he hears
When he thinks economy - his brain is weak
He's just a maverick - with a liberal streak
 
And by the way, while you think that John's a fool
Don't think his heart is miniscule!
 
Would you like to swing to the Right
Only John will continue the fight
But more amnesty is a blight
Or would you rather vote for Dems?
 
Those Dems are pathetic, they just spend all our dough
I wish they would get a clue, you know?
They've got no manners, and they blame 'Big Oil'
But drilling here will Opec profits spoil!
 
But if you don't think the blame is all on them
You might decide to vote for Dems
 
Would you like to swing to the Right
Barry O. will be No Delight
And some coat-tails might help a mite
Or would you rather just give up?
 
If we just surrender what will happen to us?
Gas climbing, I guess I'll take the bus!
If we give up now, and listen to those Dems
Those Carter years - We'll get to try again!
 
But if you think to surrender will be good
The facts you have misunderstood!
 
Surrender-monkeys aren't in the zoo
In our Congress there's quite a few
So you see, it's all up to you
We could be better than we are
No more Incumbents, that's a start!
 
We could be swingin' But we aren't!
 
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