Posted by
mrs paddy on Saturday, July 26, 2008 2:05:31 AM
If I Only Had ...A Brain (Wizard of Oz)
EH Harburg and music by Harold Arlen
His Web is like a spider
He thinks he’ll catch Al Qaeda
But watch, he’s cellophane
All the while, my head I’m scratchin'
While his plans he’s busy hatchin’
If he only had a brain!
He’ll unravel every progress
Just like the US Congress
We soon will be in pain.
With the thoughts that he’s thinkin’
He’s the opposite of Lincoln
If he only had a brain!
Oh he will tell you how
The oceans are his chore
He will think of things that always stunk before
And then he’ll stink! Just like Al Gore!
He seems to run on hopin’
Is that from all that dopin’?
Or is he just insane?
I could dance and be merry
If he’d just lose like John Kerry
And he’d just go down the drain!
When a man’s an empty suit-er
He needs a better tutor
And yet he plays the part
He’s great with written speeches
But off the cuff he reaches
If he only had the smarts!
Racial views are monumental
He seems so tempermental
Regarding kids and wife
He fosters his delusions
And he often breeds confusion
If he’d only get a life!
Picture he....a balcony
Upon a portico
Wherefore art thou, you Dumbo?
He seeks retreat
That reeks!
Just to register more voters
Honesty demoted
And then there is his wife
I will stay a bitter clinger
‘Cause my rifle’s a hum-dinger
And I’ll guard it with my life....A Chance
Yeah, it’s sad he is a sissy
His fits can be a hissy
Boy, he has arrogance!
But while terrorists are hidin’
On a rail they should be ridin’
But B.O. is just a dope!
I’m afraid there’s no denyin’
He is handy when he’s lyin’
Man, I think this guy’s a joke!
He’s a case for Jerry Springer
I’m a lone Bitter Clinger
Some would say a Vast Right Winger
And this joker won’t receive this voter’s vote!
'Cause I'm sure I have a brain
Some Smarts
A Life
Real HOPE